As proof of my sporadic geekiness, I submit the following little time-waster:

Want to know the logic behind this?

OK… so basically, all this program does is take each letter of a person’s name, and replaces it with the appropriate element from this chart (some letters I had to make up names for, since they don’t show up very often in chemistry):

A – acetyl
B – bio
C – calci
D – di
E – endo
F – fluoro
G – geni
H – hydroxy
I – iodi
J – juta
K – kineti
L – lumi
M – milli
N – nitro
O – oxy
P – phenyl
Q – quat
R – rhino
S – silico
T – tetra
U – urani
V – vanadi
W – wethri
X – xeno
Y – ye
Z – zinco

Then, the program adds either “ate”, “ide”, or “ite” to the end of it, unless the name ends with A, in which case it ends with “ic acid”. If the name has a double letter in it, the second letter is always “beta”.

That’s pretty much it. Tell your friends! Turn them into chemicals, too!